by Richard May
A question often asked by bridal couples is if it is suitable to use the monogram of the married couple's name on their wedding invite. The easy and correct answer is "No!"
While there are many wedding invitations that now use monograms, it is not proper etiquette and doesn't make a lot of common sense. Simply said "It isn't acceptable to use your 'married name ' monogram, because the couple is not actually married at the time the wedding invitation is sent." Some self-appointed "do your own thing" wedding specialists may not agree, but commonsense dictates otherwise.
Others simply feel it's bad "Juju" and that one may jinx the wedding by anticipating the wedding ceremony that has not yet been officially recognized by either civil or spiritual authorities. To most experienced stationery store owners, the solution to this query is pretty straight-forward. Therefore , it was quite surprising that a Crane & Co. wedding invitation sample featured a beautifully embossed monogram in their recently released Wedding Invitations Album.
Naturally, one assumed that there was a "boo-boo" since the monogram initials did not seem to have anything in common with the names of the wedding couple. After some forensic science, specifically reading the footnotes, we found out that the beautiful engraved monogram was the monogram of the mother of the bride! In a note citing Crane's Blue Book (the reference source of choice for wedding invitation wording and etiquette), Crane states that "As the social hostess for the family, the bride's mother's monogram is historically printed on the invitation."
The genesis of this custom requires further research. In fairness, some experienced stationers feel that the mother's gorgeous monogram may cast a shadow over the significance of her daughter's wedding. Common sense means that it may be more suitable to let the attention fall on the bridal couple.
While monograms are very good for wedding stationery or the menu at the wedding reception, it is probably best to simply avoid the use of monograms on wedding invitations.
About the Author:
Richard May is a Founding Member of the Stationers Guild and a joint owner of Therese Saint Clair, a stationery store located in Greenwich, CT.
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