Invitation Etiquette Snafus

Author: jackyrando

I brought it on myself. I'll own up to that. When we started putting save the dates together, we encountered a few sticky whom-to-invite situations. I should have confronted the issues when they surfaced and taken the time to ask my family/friends/you guys for advice. Instead, I thought to myself: that sounds like a problem for future me! Well, Future Me is here now, and she HATES Former Me for her negligence.

Children…?


Oh, the children issue. We thought we'd skirted it because, when we got engaged, we barely knew anyone with kids under 10. But now our invitation list has changed and currently includes several people with young kids. Our reception is really not kid friendly—a historical property for which we carry a hefty event insurance policy, there's an open bar, probably cigars for the patio, etc.

My mom assured me that most people won't even want to bring their kids—much more fun to have a grown-up evening to eat a nice dinner, dance and utilize the open bar. I guess we'll see what happens. If young kids show up on RSVPs, I may hire a babysitter/RN/whatever classifications are important to parents and have him/her available in the downstairs red room of our venue. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. No biggie.

What I learned: Be ready to roll with the punches with your invite list, especially if you're engaged for longer than it takes people to make and birth babies. And if you really don't want or can't have children at your event (which I think is perfectly fair and 100% your prerogative BTW), be clear but polite.

"They're Not Coming, But Invite Them Anyway"
This has happened with a few people, on my side of the guest list and PDog's. These people have actually, verbally said to our parents, "We can't come." The polite thing to do, as I understand it, is send them a formal invitation anyway. But is that polite?

I worry that it comes across like I'm soliciting a gift, saying- I know you can't come, but here's this fancy invitation so maybe you'll feel compelled to send us something. I don't need a gift! I just want you to feel included!

What I learned: Order more cheap wedding invitations than you think you need. In my case, our families are so excited about our wedding, and they just want to share that excitement with people. I still don't know if I'm doing the right thing, but I'd rather err on the side of making people feel included.

Fringe Folks


We have quite a few people on a "bubble" list. These are people who we've drifted from a little bit or who live far away and most likely wouldn't even come. I'm running low on invitations (even though I ordered lots of extras…) and there are already so many people I'll want to spend time with on that day. But I still don't feel good about not inviting people…

What I learned: Flip the situation around and put yourself in their shoes. Would you feel hurt if you weren't invited to theirs? Or would you understand? Will not inviting them damage your relationship? Will you care if it does?

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Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/weddings-articles/invitation-etiquette-snafus-5432625.html

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Online Wedding Invitations: Do they sound correct for your wedding?

by Sheila May

With well over 20 million online search results for "wedding invitations" on Google many potential consumers accept that there are plenty of online selections for the smart bridal couples. Sadly, this isn't the case. Found below are several reasons why you might wish to reconsider:

Hyped Sales Pitch for Wedding Invitations

Selecting wedding invitations over the web may seem like an easy undertaking as there are quite a few Internet sites which profess to offer one of a kind, or "green", or cheap wedding invitations. Typically , these claims are unsound and frequently not true. If you think that "bamboo paper" wedding invitations are "eco-friendly" consider the incontrovertible fact that the bamboo is perhaps grown in Viet Nam and shipped to the United States. Is 'eco-friendly" simply a "partial" carbon emission footprint? The same argument applies to "recycled" wedding invitations: Is it 30%, 50% or 100%?

Online Image Resolutions

Just as significantly, Internet image resolutions are 72 pixels. At this resolution level, it is impossible to determine true colors, Additionally, 3-dimensional images simply lose their richness and dimension on a flat screen. Ink colors change depending on the printing process and if you really wish to determine true color outcomes, you have to do so in the flesh.

Affordable Wedding Invitations

The web is totally full of web sites that offer "cheap," "discounted," and even "free" wedding invitations. Are the invitations "cheap" or "affordable" or is it simply a selling spiel. With no reason for comparison in terms of quality, it is next to impossible to make comparisons on the web. You can't see or touch the products, so how is possible to make quality comparisons?

Shop Local for Price

A longtime stationery shop in your neighborhood commonly represents more than 20 wedding invitation sellers. At these retail outlets you're able to sample many a range of paper types, see masses of modifications and receive experienced advice on making a wedding invitation that satisfies your own wishes. A pro stationer has often helped numerous bridal couples create a personalized marriage invitation. You've got the benefit of seeing ink colors under different printing processes and have the chance to touch and feel a variety of paper textures. In short , you are making decisions based on real paper samples and ink colors.

Consider carefully about the apparent convenience of buying on the internet. Shopping at stores in your neighborhood gives you choices that are simply not available online.

About the Author:

Sheila May owns of Therese Saint Clair, a stationery store located in Greenwich, CT. If you want additional info on wedding invitations, become a Facebook Fan and download our FREE Marriage Invitation Guide with a lot of practical tips to help plan your wedding.

The proper way to use monograms on wedding invitations

by Richard May
A question often asked by bridal couples is if it is suitable to use the monogram of the married couple's name on their wedding invite. The easy and correct answer is "No!"

While there are many wedding invitations that now use monograms, it is not proper etiquette and doesn't make a lot of common sense. Simply said "It isn't acceptable to use your 'married name ' monogram, because the couple is not actually married at the time the wedding invitation is sent." Some self-appointed "do your own thing" wedding specialists may not agree, but commonsense dictates otherwise.


Others simply feel it's bad "Juju" and that one may jinx the wedding by anticipating the wedding ceremony that has not yet been officially recognized by either civil or spiritual authorities. To most experienced stationery store owners, the solution to this query is pretty straight-forward. Therefore , it was quite surprising that a Crane & Co. wedding invitation sample featured a beautifully embossed monogram in their recently released Wedding Invitations Album.

Naturally, one assumed that there was a "boo-boo" since the monogram initials did not seem to have anything in common with the names of the wedding couple. After some forensic science, specifically reading the footnotes, we found out that the beautiful engraved monogram was the monogram of the mother of the bride! In a note citing Crane's Blue Book (the reference source of choice for wedding invitation wording and etiquette), Crane states that "As the social hostess for the family, the bride's mother's monogram is historically printed on the invitation."

The genesis of this custom requires further research. In fairness, some experienced stationers feel that the mother's gorgeous monogram may cast a shadow over the significance of her daughter's wedding. Common sense means that it may be more suitable to let the attention fall on the bridal couple.

While monograms are very good for wedding stationery or the menu at the wedding reception, it is probably best to simply avoid the use of monograms on wedding invitations.

About the Author:
Richard May is a Founding Member of the Stationers Guild and a joint owner of Therese Saint Clair, a stationery store located in Greenwich, CT.

Use the Wedding Papers Timeline to Help Organize Your Wedding

by Sheila May

Now that the excitement of the engagement has worn off, it's time for the heavy-lifting of planning your wedding. Stationers regularly suggest that bridal couples use the Wedding Papers Timeline to aid in planning their wedding. The correct use of wedding papers is a useful organizing process to hook up with your guests and avoid last minute chaos.

The table below sets out a timeline as to when you need to act in relation to the Wedding Date ("WD"). As an example, if you plan to send out save the date cards, we recommend sending them out about half a year before the wedding date.

Wedding Papers Timeline

Planning a wedding requires considerable organizational abilities to insure that guests and family located across a wide geography show up on time to the upcoming wedding events and, most vitally, have a great time! Found below is a wedding date (WD) timeline to help bridal couples develop their personalized paper trail:

WD -6++ Months for Save-the-Date Announcements : Given everyone's complex schedules, we inspire couples to give their guests a "Heads-Up" notice anywhere from four months to a year before the wedding. This is vital for destination weddings and weddings that may conflict with vacation and significant holiday schedules

WD -15 Weeks for Wedding Invitations: As a rule-of-thumb, formal wedding invitations and the reply card set should be received by your guest 8 weeks before the wedding. Wedding invitations will often take between 2 to six weeks to print. Budget a week or 2 to address and mail your invites.

WD -7 Weeks for Rehearsal dinner invitation, showers, bridesmaid parties and post-wedding brunch: Invitations to these events should be mailed inside two weeks after the wedding invitation has been sent.

WD -4 Weeks for Wedding Programs: Wedding programs are likely one of the more complicated, error-prone and time-intensive events for a wedding ceremony. Coordination with your Church or Synagogue is essential before assembling your program. Allow a month and one or two proofs to receive your final wedding program.

WD -2 Weeks for Reception Papers: Seating and Table Cards and Menu cards should be prepared at least 2 weeks before the Reception. Don't wait till the last minute, especially if you're working with a calligrapher.

Personalized stationery for the bride-to-be and bridegroom should be ordered around the time that wedding invitations are ordered. Keeping on top of your "Thank You" notes will assist in alleviating stress and embarrassment.

About the Author:

Sheila May owns of Therese Saint Clair, a leading stationery store located in Greenwich, Connecticut. Over the past 35 years, Saint Clair has help hundreds of bridal couples from the NY metropolitan area craft their NYC wedding invitation.